Partir
by Andwhenlovespeaks
Summary: When a woman bring them love letters and old newspapers, Lilly and Scotty have to reopen a case from the 40's. LS in many chapters. Despite the title, it's in english! post season 4!
1. Je n'en connais pas la fin

**Disclaimer: All the characters from CC aren't mine, but are the property of CBS… unfortunately!! **

**So, here is my second fic… it will be quite long, and I do hope it will be interesting!**

**It's a complete story, but I'm not ****sure it could be a full episode. Some scenes are really short so I couldn't make a whole chapter of it… **

**As I watch the show in French, I'm not sure the ****actually speak like that, so, it maybe is totally OOC…**

**There will be a lot of L/S in it!**

**Hope you'll enjoy it.  
**

**Reviews**** are more than welcome!!**

**God, really got to stop talking so much!!!!**

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**Chapter 1 : Je n'en connais pas la fin…**

_Depuis quelque temps l'on fredonne,  
Dans mon quartier, une chanson,  
La musique en est monotone  
Et les paroles sans façon.  
Ce n'est qu'une chanson des rues  
Dont on ne connaît pas l'auteur.  
Depuis que je l'ai entendue,  
Elle chante et danse dans mon cœur._

James just turned 18.  
He runs, runs, holding Marie's hand tightly.

They hide behind a big house's porch, just a few blocks away from the park they so fastly escaped from.  
"You still didn't tell them about us, did you? " asked Marie.  
He shakes is head. No.

Marie takes back her hand from his. She stares at him… she didn't even seem angry. Just sad, so sad.  
She turns away from him and runs, as fast as she can.

A few minutes before, they were so happy, walking side by side in the park. Talking and laughing. Everything was so simple, so natural when there were just the two of them.  
But they had appeared, far, on the path. He had recognized them immediately.  
Grabbing Marie's hand, they had escaped and hidden.

And now she was gone. He couldn't make her stay anymore. She was right and he knew it.  
She had to leave, before everything became to complicated for both of them.

She had to leave.

_Ha ha ha ha,  
A mon amour,  
Ha ha ha ha,  
A toi toujours,  
Ha ha ha ha,  
Dans tes grands yeux,  
Ha ha ha ha,  
Rien que nous deux._

It's freezing on that cloudless April night.  
Her body is floating in the water.  
Her pale pink cotton dress is torn in pieces, her hair in a mess.  
She's dead, her eyes wide open in the dark and cold water of the river…

_Avec des mots naïfs et tendres,  
Elle raconte un grand amour  
Mais il m'a bien semblé comprendre  
Que la femme souffrait un jour.  
Si l'amant fut méchant pour elle,  
Je veux en ignorer la fin  
Et, pour que ma chanson soit belle,  
Je me contente du refrain._

* * *

It was quite late in the afternoon. Lilly was drumming her fingers on the desk…  
She was quite dreamy these days… Not really concentrate on the job. Her wound didn't hurt anymore, but since the shooting, she hadn't been completely back into work.  
Maybe she could clean her desk, the papers were piling up… boring, boring, boring…  
Scotty was at his desk too, finishing reports on a case they closed that morning. 

A woman entered the office, seeming lost and looking for someone.

Lilly got up promptly and went to her.  
"Hello. Can I help you?"

The young woman replied:

"Yes. Actually, I'd like to talk to someone about a really old case…"

"You're in the right place! I'm det. Lilly Rush, please, follow me."

Lilly lead the woman to her desk.  
Scotty dropped his pen and got up.

She was beautiful, truly beautiful, the kind of woman you don't see everyday on the street. Tall, long blonde hair and big bright blue eyes… quite young, probably around 25. Although she was dressed simply, in jeans and a white shirt, she glowed.

Lilly said, turning her head to Scotty, who was now standing next to her:  
"This is det. Valens. So, what is it about?"

The woman sat down on the chair Lilly had just shown her.  
"My name is Beth Whitman.

In fact, I came because…  
Where to start?  
Well, my grandpa died 7 years ago.  
I was emptying the attic, cause my grandma is coming to live with my dad.  
And I found this, in an old suitcase belonging to him."

She opened her bag and took out some papers.

Letters, tied up with a white ribbon, turned yellow. A few pictures. And a couple of old press clippings.

She went on.  
"I was really surprised to find these things.  
"These, " she explained, showing the letters, "are love letters between my grandpa and a woman called Marie Dupin.

It's her on the pictures, with him. It's written on the back, you see? "  
She turned over one of the pics.  
It was written "1939, Marie and I". 

"And the thing is…"

"This girl Marie, is the dead girl in the newspaper", said Scotty, holding one of the clippings, then stretching it to Lilly.  
"Yes, I mean, I think yes. All this was tied up together. But there are no pics of the girl in the newspaper, except from this drawing."  
"Looks like it's her", said Lilly, watching the clipping closely," we're gonna check it, the pic's blurry. Did you ask your grandma about it?"  
"yes I did. She answered not. She said it was some old stories, and that it was to forget. She was really distressed and angry at me for finding these. I must say we had a bad argument."

Scotty and Lilly looked at each other. Anger and argument more than 60 years after?

Beth went on.  
"She wanted me to give all this to her. But I didn't and left. She is really angry at me now, but I want to know what it's all about."  
"ok, we'll take a look at it, but we'll have to keep these. And we have to check if this case is closed or not… it maybe is…", said Lilly showing the papers.  
"Yes of course. This is my number and address", said Beth, taking a card from her bag. "Thank you so much."  
She turned and left the office.

As she was leaving, Scotty asked:  
"What do you think? There is something here…"  
"Yep, definitely."

Lilly was looking at the picture Beth had brought. 1939, Marie and I.  
"I almost finished on the Goldberg case. Do you want to wait for tomorrow? Or start right now?" he enquired.  
"Now. And I'll talk to the boss about it tomorrow." answered Lilly, her eyes still locked on the beautiful couple on the picture.  
"Ok, so let's start!"  
"but you didn't fin…"  
"I'll do that later", he interrupted, grinning.  
"as you like it. Soooo… let's check the newspapers first."

In the amount of papers spread on the desk, they both reached for the same one.  
For a brief second, Scotty's hand rested on hers. She quickly took her hand back and mumbled an almost unintelligible sorry.  
Those sorts of awkward moments were happening a lot lately. Lilly was deeply troubled by it, but Scotty, although he looked quite uneasy, appeared serene.  
He took a piece of newspaper and started reading it. Lilly was still holding her hand, staring at him.  
"What?" he asked raising his head.  
"Nothing… "  
Nervously, she began rummaging around the heap of papers.

A few minutes passed…

"ok, so the body was found on… April, the 22nd, 1940, … no ID, …drowned in the river."  
"Let's go!" she said, heading to the door.

Scotty watched her leaving.

She was always so enthusiast, when they reopened a case.  
He followed her, smiling to himself…  
Not sure it would be that easy to find a jane doe from the forties!  
A long evening was waiting for them… 

_Ils s'aimeront toute la vie.  
Pour bien s'aimer, ce n'est pas long.  
Que __cette histoire est donc jolie.  
Qu'elle est donc belle, ma chanson.  
Il en est de plus poétiques,  
Je le sais bien, oui, mais voilà,  
Pour moi, c'est la plus magnifique,  
Car ma chanson ne finit pas._

Song by Edith Piaf (Asso/Monnot), 1939.


	2. So many questions so little answers!

**First, I want to thank you for your kind reviews, on my 1****st**** chapter and on my previous fic!! Thank you so much!**  
**Here is my second chapter. I'll try to update this as soon as I can but I won't be that much on the net cause the boss is back from his holidays and we have to work on a pretty important case! **

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**Chapter 2: ****So many questions… so little answers!**

When Scotty arrived in the morning, Lilly was already there, her hands in the box they had found the evening before.  
He pulled off his coat.  
"You went home yesterday evening, did you?"

Lilly raised her head, a beam enlightening her face.  
"Of course! There aren't many details here. But we have the original drawing of her face. It matches the pictures Ms. Whitman brought yesterday. I was waiting for you. To see the boss."

Just as she was saying this, Stillman left his office.  
"Lilly? What are you doing?" he asked, approaching her desk.  
"I'm working on a case, wanted to tell you this morning. A woman came yesterday evening with papers and stuff, about a jane doe drowned in the river in the early forties." Lilly replied. "We think we know who she is now."

She gave him the clippings and pictures.  
"The girl on the pics is the one found in the Schuylkill River on april the 22nd 1940."  
Stillman took the papers and looked at it.  
"All you have now are the letters, those 2 pictures, and our files?"  
Lilly nodded. 

"Right. Not much. Keep me informed. Start reading all the letters and ask the woman who came yesterday. Maybe she has more elements..."

Lilly grinned at Scotty, who, unusually, had remained silent during the whole conversation. If the day before, Lilly had seemed inattentive, now, it was his turn. He was staring at the floor, lost in his thoughts, struggling with something she had no idea of.

"Do you want to read the letters? It seems that both of hers and his are tied up together. How did he got her letters back?" she asked him.  
"Break up? Maybe she sent them to him?"  
"Or maybe he got them back by force?"  
"Maybe... what do we know about the grand father?"  
"Name is James Whitman, but that's all."  
"Ok, you start reading the letters, I call Ms Whitman!" said Scotty, sitting at his desk and picking up his phone.  
Lilly smirked.  
"What?" said Scotty, the phone in his hand.  
"Nothing!" she answered, beginning to unfold the letters. 

Scotty stayed on the phone for almost half an hour.  
She heard him laugh. A lot.  
What the hell was he doing? He was supposed to ask her questions, not to hit on her! She tried to listen but only caught a couple of words.  
His mood was changing, from laughter to silence, to laughter again… but hers was too… Something was wrong…

He hang up, still laughing to himself.  
"So, did you learn anything? Apart from her being single and agreeing to have a drink with you someday?"  
"What??? No way... I just asked her a few questions on her family. About the case. She's nice."  
"I bet she is!" she replied.  
"Right... " he said, pausing a few seconds. He stared at Lilly, anxiety could be read in his eyes.  
"Her grand father, James Whitman was born on may, the 21st, 1921, deceased on october 11th, 2000. So he was 18 in 1940. Got engaged to Eve Thomas in 1939, 18 too, rich family, now Eve Whitman, Beth's grand mother.  
"Beth?" Lilly interrupted, astonished.  
"Hum, Ms Whitman, I mean. Anyway, they were young! If I'm right, those letters were written while he was engaged?"  
"They are dated from july and august 1939."  
"They were engaged in… may 1939. Cheating on his fiancée? Only 2 months after the engagement party? Not nice..."  
"We're not sure they did get... physical... really physical…"  
Scotty came closer to Lilly.  
"yeah... he married Eve Thomas on october 1939, and they got on very well until his death in 2000.  
Be... Ms Whitman said her grandfather wasn't a talkative person, but her grandmother always told her they were childhood sweethearts. Met in school.  
After the wedding, he was directly hired in the firm owned by Mr Thomas, his father in law.  
One child, Ms Whitman's father Graham, born on april 1940."  
"Eve got pregnant while they were engaged... that would explain why they got married so soon... " said Lilly.  
"Eve?" teased Scotty, laughing. Lilly looked at him blankly.  
He carried on:  
"Hum… That's all she could tell me. What did you learn?"

"I made four heaps. July here, August there, both separated his/hers. There aren't many letters, and they look more like notes to each other than real letters. The first letters of july are very nice and friendly. You're nice, I like you, that kind of stuff, but not in a romantic way... but this one, from James" she said grabbing one of the letters, "appears to be the first, about... deeper feelings".  
Scotty smiled at her. "Told you, they got physical".  
She didn't replied, and read the letter:  
"_July, 13__th__ 1939,_  
_Dear Marie,_  
_I'm really sorry about last evening. I shouldn't have kissed you. I know I'm in love with you. And I'm sure you feel the same way. Please, don't be mad at me. Answer me._  
_James_."

"More than friends!" a voice behind them said, making them jump.  
They hadn't noticed Vera and Jeffries coming in.

"How much have you heard?"  
"Enough to know the story! You seemed so concentrate, we didn't want to interrupt" joked Vera.

"Need help?" enquired Jeffries.  
"Have you heard about this case? Jane Doe, 1940? I mean before..." asked Scotty.  
"Yes, I remember it was kind of a mystery... she was a beauty… it would have been closed if two witnesses hadn't showed up when the story was published in the newspapers. They said they had heard a splash, and just seconds after a car leaving the bridge fastly... we, I mean cops, thought it was her... because they had found...  
"This piece of fabric" interrupted Lilly, taking something from the box. She handed a small piece of pink cotton in a plastic bag.  
"So, if I sum it, someone pushes her from the bridge, violently enough to tear a piece of her dress, and then leave the scene in a car... and two people witnessed the murderer driving away..." said Scotty.  
"Yes... maybe we can research on the victim... what's her name?"  
"Marie Dupin, it's all we have..."  
"Vera and I will check what we can find about her..."  
"Can't we do something else? Like questioning people?"  
"Absolutely not! Come on... let's start... by the beginning!" said Jeffries, almost pushing Vera in the back. 

Scotty turned to Lilly again, smiling.  
"Anything else in the letters?"  
"The rest of it is classic love letters... they were very fond of each other... passionate, love you, need you, blablabla...  
"blablabla?? You are a real romantic"  
She remained silent, faking to examine the other letters.

She was so uneasy with love talks...  
Scotty said, leaving her side:  
"Let's ask a few questions to the angry grandma… what do you think?"  
She stood up, taking her coat. That meant yes.

While Scotty was taking his, she turned back and said:  
"I am. A romantic. I am. It's just that I don't like too-much-lyrical stuff."

He smiled kindly at her.  
"I know".


	3. You're a lucky guy

**Here's my 3rd chapter…**  
**Thank you so much for your reviews on the previous chapters!!  
Hope you'll like this one as well, and that it's not boring ! (I'm afraid it is!! but wait until chapter 5!! it should be really interesting ;-))**  
**Whoever recognise Matthew Goode in Zachary is totally and absolutely right!! **  
**Reviews are more than welcome!**

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**Chapter 3: You're a lucky guy**

The building was old, but classy, located in the rich neighbourhood of Philadelphia.

Lilly and Scotty got out of the car.  
They had been both really quiet since they had left the headquarters.

Scotty walked to the door, Lilly next to him, as always.

"Second floor, 2B"

They climbed the stairs. No words were exchanged.  
Was their relationship changing?  
They were acting strangely and they both knew it.  
They never had talked a lot. The funny thing was that most of the time, they didn't need words to understand each other. Only looks were enough. He knew when she was anxious, and she knew when he had problems. Their friendship was so strong, nothing could come between them, even if they had arguments… a lot…

But now… something was different. And none of them wanted to take the first step, ask the other what was wrong.  
Since the shooting, even if they talked or laughed sometimes, silence was getting heavier between them…

Lilly knocked on the door.  
"Mrs Whitman? Det. Rush and Valens, police"

After a minute, an old woman opened the door. She was dressed in an expensive suit, with a pearl necklace as her only jewel. You knew, just by looking at her, that she belonged to another world, where only money and reputation mattered.

"I am Mrs. Whitman. What is it about? What does Graham has done?"  
Lilly and Scotty looked briefly at each other.  
"No, it's about a woman found in 1940 drowned in the river." Said Lilly "Can we come in?"  
"Oh, Beth has talked to you. What am I going to do with this child?" Mrs Whitman sighed.

She let Lilly and Scotty coming in her apartment.

It was simply decorated, but with style and distinction. Antiques, paintings on the walls, a few porcelain trinkets here and there… but no family pictures, and not an inch of personal elements… directly out of a home style magazine…

"I told her these where only old stories"  
"We're not so sure…" said Scotty "The girl who wrote the letters to your late husband is the girl found in the river."  
"Can you tell us about your husband James and Ms Dupin?" enquired Lilly.  
"There's not much to say… Please sit down"

They entered the living room and sat down on an antique art nouveau couch.

"James and I got engaged in may 1939. Mother launched a big party to celebrate it. James didn't like this idea. His family wasn't as wealthy as mine, and he was discreet. We were young, but in love since we were 14. So when he proposed, while we were walking in the Park, it seemed natural to me. My parents disapproved but Mother really liked him and Father offered him a job, so everything could be fine…  
But in august, Zachary came and told me about James and that French girl…"  
"Who's Zachary?" asked Scotty.

"Zachary Browning… our best friend…"

* * *

_You__'re a lucky guy when you consider  
The highest bidder cant buy  
The gleam in your eyes  
You're a lucky guy  
Thank you lucky stars  
You've got a honey who wants no money..._

The sun is high above the tidy garden, behind a big Victorian house.  
A young Eve is reading a book, _Tender is the night_, comfortably settled in a white cane armchair.  
Beside her, a tall brown haired guy is standing, holding a cigarette.  
He lights it.  
He looks like an English starchy aristocrat, but is gorgeous, with his big brown eyes, and his dazzling smile. But now, there is no smile on his face. 

"Eve, there's something I need to tell you…", he says, his deep baritone voice breaking the silence.  
"Hmmm, what is it?"  
"For Christ's sake, can't you drop that book? It's important!"  
Eve shut her book violently… like a spoiled, angry child.  
"What is it about? And I'd like you to speak to me in another way. I'm not your maid."  
"I'm sorry… I don't know how to tell you…"  
"It's ok… so what is it?"  
She looks so annoyed by this conversation.  
"You shouldn't marry James"  
She jumps out of her chair, looking angrier than before.  
"Yes, I know… You love me, I should marry you, your family is richer than he'll ever be!"  
"No! I mean, yes, but that's not the point"  
Zachary gets up too. They are now facing each other like wild animals, ready to fight.  
"He is my friend too… but, despite my feelings for you… you'll think I'm gonna do this to get you, but… He's having an affair…"  
She laughs a doubtful laugh.  
"No way! He loves me. You're a liar."  
"He does. But there's someone else. A French girl he met in july."  
"No, you're lying. This conversation is over. Don't even dare talk to me again about this".  
She violently grabs her book and leaves him standing there.

_She__'ll take you just as you are  
Thank you lucky stars  
Hey fellow, say fellow  
Don't you realise its fated, you rated  
Open up your eyes..._

* * *

"So he told you, and you didn't believe him" asked Lilly. 

"No I didn't… we just got engaged! Why would he cheat on me just 2 months after he proposed? Zachary was in love with me since school too… He told me he loved me, and after, everything was broken between us… We stayed friends, or must I say like friends, but I treated him badly… and he treated me as well."  
"You had an affair with him?"  
"No! never! I loved my husband!"  
Scotty stood up.  
"So after Zachary told you, what did you do?"  
"Nothing. I told you I didn't believe it! Until…"  
"Until?"

* * *

_Don't you realise it's fated, you rated  
Open up your eyes..._

Fairmount Park. Eve is walking with her parents.  
They don't speak, they just walk.  
Suddenly, Eve recognize someone on the path. She knows him by heart, even blind, she would recognize him. James.  
Who is he with, laughing like that? A blond, tall woman. Nothing like her, who's a petite brunette…  
She can't breathe and stops walking. Her mother stops too and asks what's wrong. She can't breathe, she can't move. Her head falls, she has to sit down but she can't walk. When she raise her head again, they're gone.  
Zachary was right.

_You__'re lucky guy  
You're just beginning so have your inning  
And let your troubles boom by  
No one can deny you're a lucky guy..._

* * *

"You knew…"  
"Yes. After that episode in the park, I knew he was seeing someone else. I tried to convince myself they weren't lovers. So I confronted James. We had a terrible feud. And he realised where is interest was."  
Lilly looked at Scotty astonished, and asked:  
"I'm sorry, what?"  
"He knew where is interest was. He was mine. I loved him. He loved me. We were engaged. The news was spread in the whole city. My father had offered him a really good job. He knew he couldn't leave. But let me reassure you. We deeply loved each other. He had made a mistake. We got through. And we never regretted it until the end…"  
Scotty and Lilly were speechless.  
"hum… You got married in October 1939." He asked.  
"Yes. After his "affair", we decided to get married as soon as we can. In early September, he received the letters. She had sent his back. We supposed she had left town, and never heard of her after that."  
"But your husband kept the letters and knew she was dead. The newspapers were tied up with the letters!"  
"I didn't know that. I found out when Beth showed them to me… I didn't know he had kept the letters."  
"You didn't read the news?"  
"No… I just had Graham and wasn't concerned by the rest of the world… Plus, the war was the main subject of conversation… not dead girls found in the river…" 

Lilly looked up at Scotty, who was standing near her. He said:  
"Ok, thank you for your time… we'll maybe have more questions…"  
"You're welcome, but I told you everything I knew. I never met her in person and I didn't saw her since that day in the park… but if I can help…"  
"Thank you."

As they were walking to the car, Scotty asked:  
"She knows what she wants!"  
"Yes… kind of a spoiled brat, hiding in an old bourgeois lady, don't you think?"  
"Absolutely… but I wonder… if your guy was cheating on you… wouldn't you want or try to meet the girl?"  
"I don't know… she is so much in appearances, that it wouldn't surprise me that she just closed her eyes, and tried to save face."  
"Yeah, why not… anyway… hum… want to grab something to eat, before going back to the headquarters?"  
Lilly gave him a little, shy, smile.  
"Sure…"

He had finally made the first step.

* * *

Song by Billie Holiday (Chaplin/Cahn), 1939. 


	4. Hard times, no more

  
**Here is the chapter 4, "Hard times, no more".**  
**It's shorter than the others, cause it's kind of a transition before two important interviews... and a major LS scene (hahaha, trying to catch your attention!! ;-))...**  
**I tried to listen to what you all said in your reviews, to improve this fic! And I want to thank you again for your reviews, and for putting this fic in your favs/story alert! I'm really glad you like it!**  
**Think chapter 5 will be on this week end cause it's almost finished.**  
**Hope you'll like this chapter, even if it's really short!**

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**Chapter 4 : Hard times, no more**

They were sitting face to face in a small restaurant, a block away from the headquarters. Once in a while, they used to eat there, but most of the time only took sandwiches and went straight back to the office.  
The place was warm, the food simple but good.  
A CD was playing softly in the background.

_Tis the song, the sigh of the weary,_  
_Hard times, hard times, come again no more..._

It had been a quiet lunch, only punctuated by small weather talks and harmless subjects. He knew her enough to only ask easy-going question, not to intrude in her personal life.

Their lunch was almost over when Scotty decided to ask her:  
"Is everything ok, Lilly? You seem quite lost since..."  
He stopped there. They had never spoken about what had happened that day.  
"Since I was shot? I'm sorry, it's not about you, it's just... It's hard to get back to the job without thinking about it... Actually, I...  
"Yes?"  
"Nothing."  
She was withdrawing into herself again. Scotty could feel it, just by looking at her. The way her lips tightened, the way her eyes lowered. Nothing had become her favourite word lately.  
"Are you sure that's all?"  
"Yes... don't worry about me! I'm fine! I've been through hard times, but I'm ok now." She was grinning again. Was it a fake smile? She was such a great actress sometimes, he couldn't tell. He tried to change the subject.  
"Anyway, what do you think... about the case... maybe James killed her?"  
"Yeah, but why? We don't know who dumped who..."  
Scotty was trying hard to avoid the silence, which had settled between them, since the day she got shot. He wanted them to talk, as much as they were both able to. Even if it wasn't easy for him too.  
But at that moment, he couldn't find anything more to say. He asked her, with a smile:  
"Wanna go back? Maybe Vera and Jeffries found something! Wonder where Kat is!"  
Lilly nodded. "No idea."

He stood up and left money on the table.  
"My treat."  
She looked up at him. He was such a nice guy.

_Many days you have lingered around my cabin door... _  
_Oh hard times come again no more. _

* * *

When they arrived at the headquarters, Vera and Jeffries were talking with Kat and Stillman. 

The boss asked them, as they were taking off their coats:  
"Anything from the grandmother?"  
"Except from the fact she's an old wealthy witch? not much!" answered Scotty, throwing his coat on his chair. "Hi Kat!" he add, smiling to her.  
Kat nodded back.  
"Apparently, she never personally met Marie Dupin, and hasn't seen her since august 1939, when she caught her and her soon-to-be husband walking in the park. She says she didn't know Marie was dead until her grand daughter showed her the papers."  
"What do you think? Is that a lie?"  
"Don't know, maybe. But there is a best friend, Zachary Browning" Lilly said, reading her notes. "He told her about James having an affair, in 1939"

"What about Marie?" enquired Scotty, turning to Vera and Jeffries.  
"Marie Dupin, born in 1918, in a town called... absolutely unpronounceable... Poitiers?" answered Vera, trying hard to read, then pronounce the name of the city.  
"She arrived in the US in December 1938, with her twin brothers Henri and Roger, both born in 1923." add Jeffries.  
"Where are they now?" asked Lilly.  
Vera shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno!"  
"Ok, I want you to find them... It's our most important trace right now." Stillman ordered. "And find the best friend too!"

* * *

"Roger Dupin is dead!" said Vera, a few hours after Stillman had told them to find the twins. "Died in 1968, car crash."  
Lilly and Scotty, both sitting at their desks, dropped the papers they were working on.  
"Damned... Where is the other one?" asked Lilly.  
"The other one, Henri is still alive, but not in Philly anymore." said Jeffries.  
"Still in the US?" asked Vera, stars already glittering in his eyes.  
"Yes!" answered Jeffries, a big grin on his face.  
"Oh... " Vera looked so disappointed, it made everyone laugh.  
"I'd have loved to go to France for a small interview! Imagine, Paris! Food! Wine!"  
"Sorry... will Chicago be enough?"  
Lilly stood up, and said:  
"He lives in Chicago?"  
"Yes. At least, since 1989." 

Stillman said to Vera and Jeffries:  
"You two, find Zachary Browning, ask him everything he knows about the relationship Marie and James shared. He must know what happened between them, he knew they we're having an affair. Kat, find everything you can on the Whitman family.  
Lilly, Scotty... enjoy Chicago!"

"What?" Vera definitely didn't look happy. "Why is that it's always the same who gets all the fun?"  
Again, it made everyone laugh. They all went back to their desks.

Lilly stretched out a paper to Vera, beaming: "Hey, here is the last address I found for Browning! Not sure he still lives here though! Have fun!"

She turned to Scotty who was working at his desk. He hadn't move, or if he had, she hadn't noticed.  
He didn't look delighted... or bored about the idea of them spending time in Chicago for a few days. He was already back into work.  
Strangely, she was slightly disappointed by his reaction. She turned and walked to the window.  
A trip together? Why not. They had spent time together in Texas a year before.  
Why did she felt relief, just about the idea of leaving? Was it leaving with Scotty? No, no way...  
It's was most likely the fact of leaving Philly. Even if it only was for a couple of days... it was just that, wasn' it?

"Lilly? Lilly?"

She heard a voice calling her name. It was Scotty, standing close to her.

"Are you ok?"  
He looked worried. She sensed his anxiousness acutely, probably because it was the second time he asked her the same question within hours.  
"Yeah, I'm ok, was just thinking... about Marie. I wonder why no one declared her disappearance... "  
"We'll ask her brother, he surely knows why..."  
"You're right. Let's go, we have to settle things for our little trip!" she smiled faintly, and moved to her desk. 

He knew she was lying, but didn't say anything. He knew she wouldn't tell him what she was truly thinking.  
Would she, one day? Open up?

Somehow, even if she remained silent, everything would be fine...

_While we seek mirth and beauty and music light and gay, _  
_There are frail forms fainting at the door; _  
_Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say _  
_Oh hard times come again no more. _

* * *

Song: Eastmountainsouth 'Hard Times' (S.Foster) 


	5. We're not lost

**So, here comes the ****(really really) laaaaaaaaaaate chapter 5 ! I'm truly sorry about the time it took me to finish this. I had a lot of troubles in my personal life, and had to stop writing for a while. Now I'm back on the tracks, with many new ideas! And the will to finish my story!**

**Really like to have your feedbacks on this one cause I'm unsure of it... it doesn't exactly fit what I had in mind!! Plus I**** think it's absolutely out of characters, and is getting more and more out as the show goes on! Anyway, I like to see it as a cute love story and this is what I've been trying to write for the last two years…**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5 : We're not lost**

They arrived in Chicago at almost 5PM the day after. Not that the journey was that long, no, but they had had things to settle before leaving, plane tickets, food for the cats...

They dropped their bags at the hotel and Lilly proposed to find and ask Henri Dupin a few questions.

"Are you sure?" asked Scotty "It's quite late, maybe we can rest a little and then find a place to eat... don't you think?"

"I'd like to see him tonight. We'll grab sandwiches after that."

"Sandwiches? You know life isn't all about work. And you want to disturb an eighty years old man at that time?"

He was so right. She sighed.

"I guess it's too late anyway."

"You know what? Why don't you rest for a little while? I'll ask the guy where we can find somewhere to eat, and then I'll pick you up."

* * *

What Scotty had said remained in her mind. Find somewhere to eat and then I'll pick you up... Pick you up.

She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Instead of resting, she had taken a shower, and dressed up. Well, dressed up... from a suit to another suit.

"What the f*ck am I doing?" she asked herself, putting down her brush.

She stared at her own reflection in the white light coming down from the ceiling, examining her lips, brushing away a strand of hair.

She didn't like the woman she saw in the mirror, colder than ever, but most of all, completely lost.

What the f*ck...

She felt ridiculous. Dressing up and everything. It was only Scotty. Plus he would probably end up with a girl met in a bar, like that night they were in Texas... What was her name again?

No, this time it looked like a date. And she didn't like that either.

* * *

They entered the restaurant, following the receptionist advice, both projecting a false air of confidence.

It was a big warm place, only lit by small lamps on each tables. In the middle, a small dancefloor, and on the left, a really tiny stage. A guy was playing soft tunes on a piano, accompanied by a double bass.

A waitress lead them to a table near the dancefloor.

"Is it too late for sandwiches?" joked Lilly.

Scotty laughed. "I'm sorry, the guy should have thought you and I..."

"Probably..."

They stood silent since the waitress came back to take their order.

"I don't like this place… The music, the light..." said Lilly.

"You really don't like romantic stuff, do you?"

"Definitely not!"

They fell silent again.

She was staring at the dancefloor, lost in her thoughts.  
Scotty was watching her. She looked beautiful. As always. He wasn't even sure she knew how much.

She turned her head and faced him again.

"You know, I'm sorry for my behaviour. I've been quite moody lately, and I want to apologise."

"You don't need to. I understand. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I can't stop thinking about that poor girl. She came to the US alone, with her two very young brothers, and within a few months, she fell in love and died..."

"yeah, it's cruel..."

"He was her friend. James. More than her lover, when you read their letters, you realize they were friends... and look where it lead them."

"It didn't lead them anywhere cause he was a coward. He loved her and stayed with his fiancée."

"You think so? Maybe he was stuck. Maybe Eve made him fall in a trap."

"You mean with the baby?"

"Yeah, why not... I mean if he loved Marie... truly loved her, do you think he should care about what his family would have said?"

"Maybe not his family, but Mrs Whitman said the whole city was aware of their engagement."

"Anyway, she probably died because she loved him..." she said, turning her head away again.

"I thought you weren't into romantic stuff"

She laughed, her eyes still locked on the empty dancefloor.

"I should call the boss to know if they found something today" she said, taking her phone.

"Now? Can't you switch off for one night? Told you earlier, the job isn't everything! Wine?" he didn't wait for her answer and poured her a glass.

"You sound like my ex..."

That was it, the moment that weird night became even weirder.

All the anxiousness, all the cold silences that had been there between them since the shooting, had vanished. They were talking like never before.

While they were eating, she talked about Kite, and Joseph, even about Ray... about the fact that she had lost two of them to the job and her fear of commitment, and had let the last one go, even if she had hesitated a lot, when he had ask her to leave with him.

He talked about Elisa, and his false reputation of being a ladiesman... about the fact that she had been the great love of his life, and that since he had lost her, it had been hard for him to fall in love again.

"Did you?" Lilly asked

"What?"

"Fell in love again..."

"Yes. I have. It seems we're surrounded by ghosts of our past.."

"Yes... you have Elisa, I have... many"

He laughed.

"I came to a conclusion, you see... They're dead... or gone, and to go on, we can't let them stay like we do. They will always be there, one way or another, but they're from the past, they're over..."

"Yes, you're right, but it's hard to turn the page, to move on..."

"I know... I'm… scared of being alone. You remember that night, when we said that a good cop is always alone... Actually, I hope it's not true..."

"Do you wanna dance?" Lilly interrupted him.

He didn't answer, amazed by her question.

She took his silence as a rejection.

"That's ok, if you don't want…"

Scotty stood up.

She put her hand in his, as he was holding it out. The touch made her shiver, they had almost never touched each other.

He lead her to the dancefloor, where two other couples were already dancing.

He hesitated and put his other hand on her back, bringing her close to him.

_Life can show no mercy  
It can tear your soul apart  
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy  
But you're not__..._

He could feel her hair brushing against his cheek, breathing in her perfume.

None of them spoke, they were just enjoying the moment, far from Philadelphia, forgetting all their problems.

He looked at her. Her head was resting on his shoulder, her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful.

_Things have seem to changed  
There's one thing that's still the same  
In my heart you have remained  
And we can fly away__..._

When the song ended, Lilly stepped back, her eyes locked into Scotty's. They stood still in the middle of the dancefloor, as the band was beginning another song.

"Wanna go back? Time to sleep, a big day's waiting for us tomorrow."

"Yeah you're right..."

He lead her to their table, keeping her hand in his.

* * *

They were walking side by side in the hallway leading to their rooms.

"Thank you Scotty." Said Lilly, breaking the silence they had kept since they left the restaurant.

"For what?"

"For always making me laugh, and making my problems disappear..."

"You're welcome" he said, smiling.

"Here's my room." She opened the door. "You know there is something I didn't tell you when we were talking of our ghosts... I... a few years ago, I had a little crush on you..."

Scotty looked at her, trying hard not to let the wave of his emotion show through.

"But it passed quickly, you had lost Elisa, and then you screwed my sister, so..."

"What? I was waiting for you to bring her in the conversation. Why do you do this? You'll never forgive me, will you? If there is something to forgive, of course."

He had thought for one beautiful second she had feelings for him. The one quick second of bliss was over. She had stuck with it. Even after she nearly died, she went on dwelling with old things.

"Why are you so mad at what I said?" she asked in a cold voice.

"I'm not mad, I just don't understand... you make it sound like I killed someone! I had an affair with your sister, more than 3 years ago! 3 bloody years! We've been over this more than once, it shouldn't matter anymore!"

"You're so narrow minded!"

"I am the one who's narrow minded? Please!!

You're digging out things. You know what I said about ghosts of the past, and you agreed? It works with your family too. We had this perfect evening together, and you ruined it."

"I ruined it? You're getting mad about something I didn't even said!"

"No, you said it. You said: you screwed my sister! I can't believe we're fighting!"

"I'm tired of this conversation. Goodnight".

And with this, she slammed the door to his face.

He didn't move, stunned at her reaction. Why was she always doing this. Avoiding confrontation when it came to personal stuff?

"You know what, Lilly Rush, you really suck at conversations. And at relationships!"

The door opened violently, making the wall shake a little. She looked so mad.

They were standing face to face, none of them moving.

And suddenly, she was kissing him. Hungrily.

Her hands held his jacket tightly, as if she was afraid he'd walk away.

It took him half a second to realise what was happening. Would he understand her one day?

Scotty slid his hand around her waist, pulling her closer to him, his free hand lost in her hair.

He shut the door, still holding her, breathing in her perfume like he had done earlier when they were dancing together.

He wasn't going anywhere.

_'Cause you are not alone  
And I am there with you  
And we'll get lost together  
Till the light comes pouring through  
'Cause when you feel like you're done  
And the darkness has won  
Babe, you're not lost  
When the worlds crashing down  
And you can not bear to crawl  
I said, baby, you're not lost_


End file.
